Typically, when we talk about ground hog on this website we are referring to sausage, but today we want to wish you a happy other kind of groundhog day. And what better way to celebrate Punxsutawney Phil’s shadow watching party than with a little groundhog news?
Evidently not all groundhogs are as peaceful as good ol’ Punx Phil, as this article illustrates. The short version: “A rabid groundhog attacked a family having an outdoor barbeque at their home in Salem… .” That would be Salem, MA, home of those infamous witch trials that we read about in school. Salem resident/groundhog revenge victim numero uno Nick Konstadt, perhaps showing the ill effects of his brush with Punx Phil’s cousin by exhibiting incoherent speech, described the groundhog attack as follows: “It like, run at me, come out from right there, and I’d like stick my foot out, and then it would run into the raspberry bush, and then it would come back out again. It would make this really high-pitched sound… It was trying to be playful maybe, like it was like a younger groundhog or something.” I hope you got your rabies shots, Nick, just to be safe.
Let this cautionary tale be a lesson to all. Indeed, it’s far safer to eat ground hog than to watch a groundhog or his shadow. (Editor’s note: When the jokes are that lame, we’re surely bound for six more weeks of winter.)