One of the things that’s surprised me most about running a food blog is how many PR lists one gets on. Not a week goes by without an offer to review a book, test a recipe, get a free sample of a product, and so on. I’ve become a bit jaded and rarely reply. But the email I got a few weeks ago caught my eye:
“Porky, eat out a lot?
What’s worse than a splotch of balsamic vinegar that does a Jackson Pollock knock-off on your shirt or tie?
For those men or women who like everything to be just so and are tired of staining their clothing when they have lunch….Mike Tanney has invented the perfect accessory for anyone who likes to look immaculate all day long… The product is called Dress Tiez ™ and it is brand new. Created by Mike, who was tired of replacing his expensive Hermes stained ties. Now there’s the perfect gift for foodies and all of us who appreciate leaving a meal without looking like we walked off a battlefield.
*Stylish, fashionable and suitable for fine restaurants
*Halts stains from pasta sauce, red wine, olive oil etc and is machine washable
*Is portable and comes with its own matching pouch and is gift boxed.
*Comes in 19 different styles and colors
*Can be monogrammed or personalized
Please let me know if you would like to receive a complimentary sample to review.”
Needless to say, I couldn’t pass this rare opportunity up. After all, eating BBQ gets messy, even when sticking to the vinegar-sauced North Carolina variety. If I had a dollar for every shirt I’ve ruined with grease stains from eating trays of BBQ I’d have enough money to, well, buy another tray.
I requested a free sample DressTiez (the brand name doesn’t work well for singular usage, but I didn’t order a plural amount), and a few days later I was in business. Rather than subject myself to potential public humiliation, I invited a friend over and asked him to make a fool out of himself for the good of you readers. (Well, I asked his wife too but she was too demure.) Inset is Cody “Whole Hog” Marshall–friend, neighbor, and now genuine hero–test driving a DressTiez with about two pounds of my home-smoked barbecue in front of him.
As you can tell, the DressTiez is not actually a tie at all. This came as a surprise to me when I opened the package. It is a bib. Perhaps DressBib didn’t have a good ring to it. I prefer to call it a Man Bib. You may call it something else if you wish.
I’m not sure what else to say about the DressTiez. It’s interesting, it’s functional (though it leaves some neckline exposed), it’s polyester, and it’s definitely a conversation starter. You should read this review, and you must watch this video ad to fully understand the product, if that is even possible.
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