It Was A Dark and Stormy Night
No, really, it was. It was a cold, rainy night in mid-March when I found myself in a predicament. I was craving ‘cue, my wife was 900 miles away, my daughter was asleep for the night in her crib, and I had some near-expired boneless, skinless chicken breast in the fridge. What was a BBQ Jew to do?
Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures
I opened the fridge and took out the chicken. Next, I opened the pantry where by fate (or mispent divine intervention?) I spotted a half-empty bottle of Eastern-style BBQ sauce. Problem solved. And then one more pantry discovery: canned collards waiting patiently but hopelessly to be eaten by my vegetable-averse daughter. A pseudo-BBQ plate was emerging (alas, sans hush puppies). I doused the chicken in the BBQ sauce and baked it in the oven; no need to wood cook faux ‘cue, after all. Once cooked, I chopped the sad-looking bird meat up to resemble barbecue as best it could and drenched it with more sauce. There was no turning back now.
Moral of the Story
There may be a reason chopped chicken breast with barbecue sauce is not a staple of menus across North Carolina. Most likely because it has no flavor. (Interestingly, turkey barbecue is served at some NC restaurants, or so I’ve been told.) Oh well, at least the chickens of North Carolina can sleep a little easier knowing they are no replacement for hog…