Let My Pigs Go! (dang–too late)

When last I heard from the Egyptians, they were drowning in the no-longer-parted Red Sea in the story of Passover. Now they’re killing all of their hogs. Dark days.

This week, Egypt slaughtered between 300,000 to 400,000 pigs. The hogs were owned by the Christian minority in Egypt, and many suspect the Muslim government used the swine flu as an excuse to rid the country of the divine swine.

As a human being, an animal liker and a pork lover, I’d like to say: what a waste. Think of all the barbecue that could have been!

As Porky wrote from the vacuum-sealed confines of his basement, there’s no need to panic about swine having swine flu. What would give you such a preposterous idea? Because as the National Pork Board tells us (in an ad conveniently pegged to my Google “swine flu” search), pork is safe!

The World Health Organization said the same. And Joseph Domenech, chief veterinary office with the UN Food and Agriculture Officer in Rome, said the Egyptian decision was “a real mistake.” I’m not positive, but I think he was referring to their decision not to break out the smokers for a national ‘cue party. 

Barring that, at least the Egyptians could have attempted another Red Sea parting to send the non-flu-having pigs to Israel. What, no national sense of humor?! If the hogs made it, they could thumb their nose at their millennia-old rivals (for sending a bunch of unkosher animals their way).  If the hogs didn’t make it, well, they’d have achieved the same result.

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