One of the more fascinating aspects of barbecue blogging is the number of unsolicited messages I get from folks pushing their (sometimes) barbecue-related products. From BBQ sauce companies to grill stores to cookbook publishers, I get several emails a week seeking to drum up publicity for whatever it is they are selling. I can only imagine what a less obscure blog with more readers must receive in PR-mail.
Among my recent favorite messages to reach my inbox are these two gems:
“Dear Porky,
How about a post on refreshing beverage savings ideal for summer? ALO Drink, the #1 ready-to-drink aloe vera beverage in the U.S. natural market, is offering a 50 cent coupon when you Like ALO on Facebook.
Made with real aloe vera pulp and juice straight from the aloe vera plant – never reconstituted from powder, ALŌ Drink contains 25% aloe vera pulp and juice content, is naturally full of vitamins, minerals and essential amino acids, and is completely Free of preservatives, artificial colorings, artificial flavors, emulsifiers or thickeners. Available in exotic flavors like mangosteen and mango or pomelo, pink grapefruit and lemon, ALŌ extracts only the desirable inner aloe pulp by using a hand-filleting method, instead of including the non-nutritious green outer skin as part of its blend.
More information can be found at www.alodrink.com. Please let me know if you have any questions or need any additional information.”
Well, I guess my first question would be what the heck does this drink have to do with barbecue? I honestly can’t think of a drink I’d be less likely to consume while tucking into a plate of BBQ than aloe vera juice… unless I burned my tongue on a rib. That said, I am duly impressed that ALO Drink is the “#1 ready-to-drink aloe vera beverage in the U.S.”: I mean, there is more than one such drink? No wonder people thing the end times are near…
“Hi Porky,
I thought you and your readers might be interested in participating in the following Facebook contest! Wild Planet, a leader in sustainable canned seafood, is giving away three cans of premium tuna in their signature lunch bag to celebrate World Oceans Day! To win, simply describe your favorite Wild Planet product in five words. Never tried Wild Planet? Use five words to say why you want to! The contest runs through June 8th. Submit your entry on the Wild Planet Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/wildplanetfoods
Get your feet wet, but don’t worry about going too deep. If you have any questions, or need any additional information, just let me know.”
Okay, let me get this straight: you are asking a BBQ blogger to write about canned tuna? And the grand prize for the contest is three cans of tuna in a lunch bag? Wow. I think I’ll stick to my tried and true approach to sustaining tuna: leave it in the can and eat a pit-cooked pig instead.
Ah, the wonders of capitalism in the age of blogging. Now if only more folks would start sending me samples. After all, aloe vera juice sure would pair nicely with canned tuna.
Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tagged: Capitalist pigs, Shameless |
BBQ Jew 
Believe it or not I have had aloe drinks on several occasions, including ones complete with little aloe chunks. It is big in many Asian countries and it was one of those things I really had no idea what it was until after I drank it. Needless to say it doesn’t come close in taste to NC BBQ or any other type of bbq for that matter.
Does it come in a Cheerwine flavor?
Apparently rhyming was the key to the tuna contest. The winning entry was:
“I simply adore your albacore”
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