Slow Train Coming

At long last, I’m taking the time to better organize my reviews of North Carolina barbecue restaurants.  Step one was updating the list of Joints to include all the places I’ve visited to date.  As of moments ago, that task is (mostly) complete.  Next up is a Google Map listing all the places I’ve visited, which will make finding joints near you/your travels much easier.  I’m about five years behind the times–too cheap and lazy to build the Swine Finder BBQ App I really want to produce–but it’s a start.  I should have the map up and running, with a link from the Joints page, any day/week/month now.  Stay tuned, fellow barbecue hogs.

Royal Baby Barbecue Names

In order to ensure that this blog continues to stay at the cutting edge of current events, I offer the following list of potential royal baby names (in an alternate universe where Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge are barbecue enthusiasts):

Or maybe Bald Willie and his lady friend Kate will just give the baby a normal name… like Blue Ivy or Moon Unit.  Stay tuned world…

BBQ Crime Spree

I’m not sure what the exact definition of a hate crime is, but this sure seems like one.  According to an email from the Durham Police Department, someone has been stealing pig cookers.  C’mon people, have some respect for your fellow citizens!  No word on whether the missing cookers are gassers or use charcoal.  If the former, good riddance. If the latter, shame!

—–Original Message—–
From: Michael, Kammie 
Sent: Friday, July 05, 2013 8:12 PM
Subject: Durham Police Asking for Assistance in Smoker/Pig Cooker Thefts

For Immediate Release: July 5, 2013

Durham Police Asking for Assistance in Smoker/Pig Cooker Thefts

Durham police are asking for assistance in identifying a suspect in the theft of a large $4,000 pig cooker that was stolen on May 23 from the driveway of a home off Mineral Springs Road. 

The suspect was described as a black male in his mid-30s, approximately 5 feet 8 inches tall with a medium build and a bald head. He was wearing a green T-shirt and khaki cargo shorts. He was driving what appeared to be a black 1995-2005 Chevrolet Silverado truck.

Police are investigating two other thefts of large pig cookers/smokers. 

Two pig cookers were stolen from the 3900 block of South Alston Avenue in April. The cookers were chained to the back of a building.

Two large smokers on a trailer were stolen from Mount Bethel Presbyterian Church in late April. The trailer was stolen along with the smokers. 

Anyone with information is asked to call Investigator J. Barr at (919) 560-4281, ext. 29119 or CrimeStoppers at (919) 683-1200. CrimeStoppers pays cash rewards for information leading to arrests in felony cases and callers never have to identify themselves.

Happy Cuatro de Julio

Happy 4th of July, friends and strangers.  Whether you are making barbecue today or just plain grilling, may your day be full of equal parts meat and joy!

Need Another Reason Not to Eat BBQ in Canada?

Well, here’s a reason:

Adam Wainwright, My New Hero

Those of you who know Porky LeSwine well are aware that he loves the St. Louis Cardinals as much as he loves barbecue.  (He also loves to talk about himself in the third person from time to time.)  Thus, Porky was thrilled to see this article about Cards’ ace pitcher, Adam Wainwright.  An avid BBQ eater, Wainwright offers that, “bad barbecue makes me want to fight somebody.”  I know what he means, though I’m not sure I’d phrase it quite that way.

Apologies to the 99% of you readers who find this post completely uninteresting.  Mr. Wainwright, if you are reading this article then please know that: a) you are an honorable man, b) I’ll buy you a plate of NC barbecue anytime and c) you really ought to send me some complimentary playoff tickets.

BBQ Royalty (& Me)

To the naked eye, the below picture might look simply like four pale guys grinning like idiots.  In fact, it’s a veritable barbecue all-star team grinning like idiots (and a couple of cute kids who are blessed to look more like my wife than me).

Pictured from left to right (excluding the kids): your very own Porky LeSwine, Daniel Vaughn (@bbqsnob), John Shelton Reed (@smartlyavoidstwitter), and Nicholas McWhirter (@redblank).

Mr. Reed, of Holy Smoke fame, should need no introduction to North Carolina barbecue enthusiasts.  Daniel (author) and Nicholas (photographer) are the talented team behind the soon-to-be-released book, The Prophets of Smoked Meat. Good folk everyone of them, and it was a pleasure to “break hush puppies” with them.

Judas Pigs

If I was looking for a new name for this blog, it’d surely be Judas Pig.  That turn of phrase alone would make this article on the war on feral hogs worth reading. What exactly is a Judas pig?  According to the article, “Essentially, after capturing and killing a hog family, hunters will leave a sow alive and outfit her with a microchip or tracking collar. Then, when she finds a new group of pigs to join, hunters can use the GPS data and descend on the unsuspecting creatures.”  Sounds more like Catholic crusade pigs to me, but I digress…

Blogging Down the Drain

Being a member of the bloggerati has its perks–samples of barbecue sauce, newly published cookbooks and other goodies sent for free through the mail.  And now, completely resetting the bar, this press release directed to my BBQJew at account…


Cintas’ Annual “Bowl Game” is Back!
Cintas kicks off the 12th annual
America’s Best Restroom Contest
Cincinnati, OH– April 1, 2013– Cintas Corporation (CTAS) is now accepting nominations for its annual America’s Best Restroom Contest, where the “top 10 places to go—when you’ve got to go” are identified and then voted on by the Internet public in an all out battle of the bowls.

“Cintas launched the America’s Best Restroom Contest twelve years ago to raise awareness of the importance of hygiene and to salute those businesses which strive for restroom excellence in both function and design,” said John Engel, Cintas’ Senior Marketing Manager.
For more than 80 years, Cintas has serviced businesses nationwide and their clientele, who recognize the correlation between clean restrooms and customer satisfaction and retention. “It makes smart business sense – everyone can appreciate a clean, well-maintained and innovatively designed restroom,” Engel added.  

Do you own your own establishment? Are you the creative mind or part of a team behind the restroom design inside of one? Or have you patronized a particularly memorable facility?

Nominate a deserving bathroom online today at
The contest is open to any non-residential restroom in the U.S. that is accessible to the general public. Entries will be judged on cleanliness, visual appeal, innovation, functionality and unique design elements.
“Nominees and finalists run the gamut, from historical buildings or five star luxury hotels and restaurants in big cities, to gas stations along remote highways and mom & pop style diners in the rural Midwest,” says Sabrina Zimring, Survey Editor for Cintas’ America’s Best Restroom Contest.

Visit the Best Restroom Facebook pageTwitter accountYouTube Channel and Instagram to post comments, receive contest updates, share photos or upload videos; links to the sites are on the contest homepage.

Ten finalists will be announced in August, at which time online voting will begin. The winner and runner-up will be revealed this fall during a nationally publicized media event, and the top vote getters will secure a place in Cintas’ America’s Best Restroom Contest Hall of Fame
For the record, I have not yet dared visit the Best Restroom YouTube Channel.  We live in interesting times indeed.

New Year’s Diet in Style: Barbecue

Just in time for everyone to make their New Year’s resolution about losing weight: the BBQ Diet.  Learn more–or don’t and make it up yourself–at .  Sadly, the barbecue these dieters are referring to is primarily of the bastardized verb variety–grilling, by any other name.