Backyard BBQ Season is Here

Posted on May 11, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

As I write this post it is one of those remarkably beautiful North Carolina spring days.   The temperature and humidity are perfect, the sky is Carolina blue (even for a devout Duke basketball fan like myself), and the swarms of summertime mosquitoes have yet to come out of hibernation or wherever the heck they are over the winter. In other words, it’s the perfect time to cook some barbecue.

If you want to become a master barbecue cook, or at least not embarass yourself too badly, I highly recommend reading through the great info at AmazingRibs.com.  The chief blogger/cook/all around BBQ guru over there, Meathead, offers a ton of free advice on everything from cuts of meat to buying guides for grills and accessories.  Really valuable info that ignorant wanna-be BBQers like myself can’t match.  If good old fashioned cookbooks are more your speed, I highly recommend Peace, Love, & Barbecue by Mike Mills or pretty much anything Steven Raichlen has written. Sure, he looks like a bit of a goofball but he knows his stuff.

You can spend a ton of money on a grill or smoker, but if you’re a newbie I recommend starting with something basic.  Cooking barbecue isn’t easy but it’s not all that complicated either.  There are lots of places to buy a grill, and online shops have started offering a lot of choices at competitive prices.  For example, CSGrills.com offers everything from entry level charcoal Brinkmann Smokers to top of the line Weber Gas Grills, as well as a range of other BBQ grills (with free shipping on most).  In my opinion, the only thing better than using a grill is dreaming about what a darn good pit master you’d be if you just had the right set up.  (Okay, maybe that’s just me).

Anyway, enough about my fantasies.  The bottom line: if you need a grill, buy one; if you have a grill, use it; and if you are planning to cook a bunch of barbecue, by all means save me some!  Happy cooking.

Filed under: Cooking | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Happy Mother’s Day-After

Posted on May 9, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

I spent my weekend with my family instead of preparing posts for this site. I know, I know, time to get my priorities in order.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the barbecue mamas out there, from the women who run their own restaurants (e.g., Bridges Barbecue Lodge in Shelby) to the mothers working as waitresses to the moms and grandmothers who help prepare food for church BBQ fundraisers. And happy Mother’s Day to Mrs. Porky LeSwine, a wonderful mother even if she and her two beautiful daughters have yet to acquire a taste for chopped pork.

Filed under: Miscellaneous | Leave a comment »

Busy BBQ Festival Weekend

Posted on May 6, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

Three barbecue-related events this weekend, including the legendary Smithfield Ham & Yam Festival.  See them all at https://bbqjew.com/events/

Filed under: Hog Happenings | Leave a comment »

Porky’s Pulpit: Signs of Senility

Posted on May 4, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

On Monday I received the disturbing email below, from Brenae “Iron Deficiency is Worse Than LSD” Leary, who was writing to alert me about the AARP’s promotion of Meatless Mondays.  Needless to say the BBQJew.com editorial staff has about as much tolerance of Meatless Mondays propagandists as it has sympathy for Osama Bin Laden. 

Hi, Porky—

AARP.org shares these warm and comforting meat-free recommendations to help you start your week on a healthy note.

Breakfast: Apple Muffins– These easy and inexpensive muffins take less than an hour…

Lunch: Miso-Spiked Vegetable Soup With Barley– Miso is a traditional Japanese paste made of fermented soy beans, rice or barley…

Dinner: Gruyere Tart– Serve this savory tart with a side of green salad…

Feel free to share with your readers with a link!

Best,
Brenae

The fact that the AARP is touting the virtues of Meatless Mondays only confirms my assumptions about the elderly: they are confused, senile, anemic, grumpy, and generally not to be counted on for anything more than incoherent stories about days long ago and events long since forgotten. 

In fairness, I understand why the denture-wearing seniors of AARP would struggle to gnaw the meat off of a Kansas City rib, but don’t they realize that you can gum North Carolina barbecue if need be?  In my opinion, Meatless Mondays are an unnecessary distraction for North Carolina seniors and it’s unfortunate that the AARP is attempting to deceive its gullible membership.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

BBQ Jew’s Virtual Field Trip to China

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

A tip of the snout to my biggest supporters (and occassional blog readers), my mom and dad, who sent me two pork-related news items from China. 

First, in an article that is evidently true even though it sounds like it is ripped off from The Onion: a food additive that turns pork into beef.  The additive does a convincing job of transforming relatively inexpensive meats like pork into beef.  Of course, there may be a few minor side effects; as the article says, “long-term use of additives can cause slow poisoning, deformity, and even cancer.”  But, hey, if you are going to be poisoned it seems like slow poisoning is the way to go (after all, it allows plenty of time to digest your fake-beef meal before you die).

Think the above pork-beef is unappetizing?  Well, at least it doesn’t glow in the dark.  A Shanghai resident identified as Miss Chen made dumplings with her family one recent evening and put the leftover pork on a table in the kitchen before heading to bed.  She was in for a rude awakening later that night.  According to an article that includes some disturbing photos, “At 11pm, Miss Chen got out of bed to use the toilet, and suddenly noticed a faint blue glow coming from the kitchen, and that the bright blue glow was coming from the pork itself!”  Rest assured, this blue-glowing pork was deemed safe to eat by local authorities so I’m sure there is nothing to worry about.  After all, China has a sterling reputation for monitoring product safety.

Until I hear some better news about pork in Asia’s China, I’ll stick to getting my barbecue pork from places like Gary’s in China Grove.

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Bob Garner Goes Online

Posted on April 29, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

I discovered recently that legendary NC BBQ eater, author and TV host Bob Garner has a website. Check it out here.  Bob has kindly agreed to a BBQ&A with me, so I hope to publish that interview sometime in the not too distant future.  Until then, I highly recommend his two outstanding books on NC BBQ.

Filed under: Miscellaneous | 6 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: To Judge or Not to Judge

Posted on April 27, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

On Saturday I had the once-in-a-lifetime experience of judging my first officially sanctioned barbecue competition.  I was one of an elite few hand-selected judges (okay, actually one of 54 judges and I had practically begged for the opportunity) at the first annual BBQ Capital Cook-off in Lexington, NC. 

The event drew more than 50 teams from across the southeast, including a half dozen or so from the Lexington area.  Under the rules of Kansas City Barbeque Society (KCBS) sanctioned events, the teams competed across four categories: chicken, pork ribs, pork butt/shoulder and beef brisket.  Prizes were awarded for the grand champion, the best cumulative score across the four categories, as well as category-specific winners.  If you actually care about the details of the event, including who won, read this article.

I thoroughly enjoyed the judging experience, especially meeting a bunch of friendly and dedicated barbecue enthusiasts.  It’s definitely a different world out there on the “barbecue trail,” as members of the BBQ competition tribe call it, and I enjoyed being let into the world for a few hours.  I was among the younger judges, but it was a more diverse group than I expected: quite a few women, not all of whom were dragged there by their spouses, as well as people from as far away as Alabama and even, gulp, San Francisco.  There was a real sense of camraderie among the judges and other volunteers; one big, smoked meat loving family. From what little I observed of the teams competing, the camraderie is equally strong among cooking teams.

Despite the good time I had, I am not yet a competitive BBQ convert.  But it’s not because of the quality of the food.  The 24 samples I tried (six in each of the four categories, per KCBS judging protocol) were as a whole excellent–most were better than good restaurant barbecue and some were exceptionally good, with just a few subpar.  Plus, I wholeheartedly support the KCBS focus on wood-cooked barbecue, as gas and electric cookers are banned.  Yet I don’t quite buy into the concept of turning barbecue–which to me is all about enjoying oneself among friends in a laidback atmosphere–into a competition governed by a myriad of bureaucratic rules (e.g., a strict policy of disqualification for entries featuring garnishes other than green leaf lettuce, parsley or cilantro).  It’s not that I begrudge anyone the thrill of competing, but I’m not sure it is the scene for me.  On the other hand, I sure do like getting the opportunity to sample a bunch of delicious barbecue so I’m not ruling out giving judging another shot…

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a comment »

We Don’t Need No Education (aka Another Brick in the Pit)

Posted on April 25, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

According to an incredibly uninformative (seriously, check it out) Associated Press article, “Students at an elementary school in the Kansas City School District are collaborating on a DVD and book on the life of barbecue legend Ollie Gates.”  Though the article provides no more information on this collaboration, it does note that Gates plans to reward the students by spending a day “playing checkers and having a picnic with [the] students.”  For the sake of those elementary schoolers, let’s hope Ollie is cooking for the picnic instead of the cafeteria ladies.

Although the article above contains virtually no information (have you checked it out yet?), it got me thinking.  As important as barbecue is to North Carolina history, somebody should develop a BBQ curriculum to be woven into social studies, history and other K-12 classes.  What better way to get kids to pay attention in class than a discussion of barbecue that culminates in a year end pig pickin’?  Heck, you could even have kids in science class dissect a whole hog. I mean, what’s more useful in life, knowing the anatomy of a frog or knowing how to trim ribs and identify the tenderloin?

Filed under: 'Cue Culture | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Gary’s 40th Birthday

Posted on April 22, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

Nice article in the Salisbury Post on the 40th anniversary of Gary’s Barbecue in China Grove.

Filed under: BBQ in the News, Restaurants & Reviews | 1 Comment »

Judgment Day is Near

Posted on April 20, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

If you happen to be in Lexington, NC this Saturday please drop by and say hello to your’s truly.  Just don’t interrupt me while I’m hard at work.  I’ll be among the dozens of lucky folks volunteering at the first annual Lexington BBQ Capital Cook-off, a Kansas City Barbeque Society (KCBS) sanctioned cooking competition.  It will be my first experience judging barbecue as a KCBS Certified Barbeque Judge and I am feeling the pressure already–am I worthy of grading others on their chicken, pork ribs, pork butt, and brisket?   

The cook-off should be a fun event to watch, but a word of warning: according to the Greensboro News & Record, “Because of health department regulations, those who attend the two-day event will not be able to taste the barbecue prepared by the teams during the competition.”  What a drag, and what a waste of pork.  The good news is that three of the competitors will be selling BBQ to hungry onlookers.  Read more about the event in the Greensboro News & Record or at the event website.  See you in Lexington!

Filed under: Hog Happenings | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

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