Porky’s Pulpit: Barbecue Sauce and Mental Health

A slew of articles, including this one, have reported the results of a recent study out of Canada that shows certain barbecue sauces are rich in antioxidants.  Leaving aside Canadians’ questionable credentials when it comes to barbecue (moose jaw anyone?), as well as the considerable waste of taxpayer money (not mine in this case, thankfully) inherent in funding such useless research, the study does lead to an interesting question.  The question is not, “Isn’t it wonderful that barbecue sauce may have some health benefits?”, but rather, “Who cares if it does?” 

Who cares whether the sauce on an unabashedly not-that-healthy food has some health benefits?  Our culture has grown increasingly obsessed with whether foods–from flax seed to chocolate to beer to steak–contribute to our physical health.  This trend bothers me for a few reasons:

  • It distracts from the obvious fact that as a culture we eat too much and exercise too little.  Until we resolve those issues, everything else is fairly irrelevant.
  • It implies that the pure enjoyment of food is suspect, that there must be some practical benefit in every bite we eat.  This is antithetical to the enjoyment of food and, at the risk of being overly dramatic, to human nature.
  • It puts an emphasis on “health” over quality.  Are we supposed to eat lousy, lazy oven-cooked ribs with a mass produced, highly processed yet antioxidant-rich sauce and feel good about ourselves?  And should we feel bad about eating a wood-cooked, presumably carcinogen-tainted plate of chopped pork covered in homemade but low antioxidant sauce?  Nonsense.

Maybe I am overreacting, since that’s what I do when inhabiting my Porky LeSwine persona, but this sort of madness needs to stop.  Eat a balanced diet, run around the yard with your kids every chance you get, and by all means enjoy your BBQ sandwich.

Porky’s Pulpit: Were There BBQ Joints in Nazareth?

Thank you to Jay and Katherine, a husband-and-wife team who sent me the below picture of a fascinating tapestry.  According to Katherine, “The tapestry hangs in the Gallery of Tapestries in the Vatican Museum and is a picture of the Last Supper.  I think it was woven in the 1600s.”  Why is this artwork of particular interest, other than the obvious fact that it is Holy Week?  Well, this particular depiction of the Last Supper appears to feature a serving platter full of pig! 

Since I’ve never before seen a pig-positive depiction of the Last Supper, I’m curious to hear from any religious scholars who can help answer these questions: Are those really pigs featured on the platter?  And, if so, is it at all possible that swine might have been on the menu at the Last Supper given the number of, you know, Jews present?  Also, what might the pigs’ symbolic meaning, if any, be in this tapestry? 

Given Jesus was a Jew, one would expect he kept kosher.  Then again Jesus, you may have heard, was no ordinary Jew.  According to that holiest of holy website WikiAnswers, which is a decidely unscholarly source of information, there is some debate about whether Jesus indulged in treyf food like swine.  The evidence that Jesus might have eaten pork largely comes from him saying, “It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man” (Matthew 15:11).  Whether this one passage can be interpreted to mean it is okay to eat pork and other “unclean” foods is not clear.  Anyone out there care to enlighten me? 

Last Supper tapestry, courtesy of Jay and Katherine Wilkerson

The Texans Are Coming, The Texans Are Coming!

Alarming news out of Chapel Hill, where a recent press release notes that a local franchisee has entered into a statewide agreement with Dallas, Texas-based Dickey’s Barbecue Pit.  GMW Carolina, Inc. already runs two Dickey’s locations in the Triangle area and plans to open a third soon.  The statewide agreement gives GMW the right to expand into markets across North Carolina, although details have not been released as to where the next locations will be.  Presumably major population centers like Charlotte and the Triad area will be in the mix, as well as additional Triangle storefronts.

What, if any, threat does this pose to North Carolina’s homegrown barbecue culture?  A significant one, I’d speculate.  Sure, Dickey’s serves a different product than authentic NC barbecue joints.  And certainly there are plenty of relocated Texans and others who will enjoy having another options for ribs, brisket and the like.  Heck, I like Texas barbecue too.  But one has to assume that there are some limits to the amount of barbecue North Carolinians will eat (despite our collectively growing waistline).  Thus, for every plate of Dickey’s barbecue sold there will probably be somewhat less NC barbecue sold by a homegrown joint.  I highly doubt Dickey’s will be the knockout blow to mom and pop barbecue joints that Wal-Mart was for many smaller retailers, but its expansion does pose a real threat. 

What should a proud North Carolinian do?  My advice: skip the corporate brisket from Texas and visit your local BBQ joint.  If you insist on adding some Texas flavor, just bring a bottle of Kraft sauce along and dump it over your chopped pork.

The Onion on Pulled Pork

“Shaq Misses Entire Second Half with Pulled Pork Sandwich”

That’s the headline from a recent article in the satirical newspaper The Onion.  See the hilarious accompanying photo and full article here.

Porky’s Pulpit: An Essay on the Origins of My Addiction

My name is Porky LeSwine and I am a barbeholic.

The barbecue version of the food pyramid.

Early Symptoms
Like most addictions, it all started out innocently enough. I grew up in Orange County not far up the road from Allen & Son. My folks took me there from time to time. Back then it was just a couple of times a year habit. I liked barbecue from the start but didn’t think much about it in between those occasional meals. It’s a couple decades later and I’ve now eaten enough barbecue that my cholesterol level can be measured from 100 yards away. How did I, an innocent kid who grew up eating just the occasional BBQ plate, turn into a bona fide barbecue junkie?

After continuing my occasional BBQ routine through high school I soon left North Carolina to attend college in Missouri. There are good ribs in St. Louis but nothing quite like NC barbecue, so I found myself fitting in a visit or two to Allen’s every time I returned home. Soon I was stopping at Allen’s on the way home before even arriving at my parents’ house. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Still, I remained just an occasional visitor to the Temple of Divine Swine, not a member of the congregation. 

Diagnosis
After college I worked a job that sent me on several day trips to Lexington, where I interviewed people about their experiences with… well, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I started my interviews by asking people where I should go for lunch. I was amazed at how varied and passionate their responses were. It seemed like everyone had an opinion and they took pride in sending me off the beaten path to the “little place down the road a bit.”

I knew Lexington was barbecue Mecca (or maybe Medina for those of you partial to the ‘cue served in the Eastern part of the state ), but I was shocked to discover that Lexington had over 20 barbecue joints for 20,000 people. At one joint for every 1,000 people, there may be more barbecue options per person in Lexington than there are physicians or churches. But who needs a physician when a chopped tray a day keeps the doctor away? And who needs church Continue reading

BBQ&A: Lolis Eric Elie, Writer and Filmmaker

America's least successful vegetarian?

[Note: Follow this link–Elie BBQ&A–for an easier to read .pdf version of the interview.] When it comes to barbecue, Lolis Eric Elie has a checkered past.  It’s not that he wrote a three times weekly column for The Times-Picayune of New Orleans from 1995 to 2009.  Or that he is on the staff of the new David Simon series, Treme, which debuts on HBO in April and has nothing to do with ‘cue.  It’s certainly not that he has edited and authored two essential books about barbecue, Corn Bread Nation Vol. 2: The United States of Barbecue and Smokestack Lightning, respectively.  Nor that he has produced two documentary films, including Smokestack Lightning: A Day in the Life of Barbecue.  None of these parts of Elie’s bio concern me.  His checkered past?  He once admitted to going through a vegetarian phase.   

Despite his past vegetable transgressions, Elie’s extensive barbecue background makes him the perfect subject for an interview.  In the spirit of carnivores everywhere, Elie was kind enough to chew the fat with me on a variety of subjects.  In the below interview, we discuss the “disturbing trend” of North Carolina barbecue joints switching to gas/electric cooking, why–ahem–New York barbecue has its advantages, and the newspaper industry’s slow “suicide,” among other topics.  Dig in…  

BBQ Jew: I understand you were raised in Louisiana.  When and how did a po’ boy-, beignet- and gumbo-eating New Orleaner like yourself discover barbecue?  Seriously, Louisiana isn’t widely known for its BBQ, so what was your introduction to barbecue and how did you decide it was worth writing a book about?
Lolis Eric Elie: I was on the road with Frank Stewart, the photographer, and we were working for Wynton Marsalis. Frank grew up in Memphis and Chicago and he came up with the idea of doing a book on barbecue. Growing up in Louisiana, I had some great backyard barbecue. But there were certainly no commercial establishments to rival the best of Memphis or Kansas City.   Our initial book proposal was a pretty light romp through the world of barbecue that would compare and contrasts the various styles. After a week in Memphis, researching the sample chapter, I knew that barbecue could be the focus of a serious book about American culture.    

BBQ Jew: Since Smokestack Lightning was first published in 1996, barbecue has gained far more mainstream attention across the U.S. and beyond.  In fact, it’s probably one of the hottest American food trends, from the lowly McRib on up to fine dining establishments.  How do you feel about barbecue’s newfound status?
LEL: The growth of barbecue is a mixed blessing. If the big money restauranteurs did not find it worth investing in, the art form might all but die. Mom and Pop restaurants are dying in droves for a variety of reasons. But the emergence of barbecue in, say, a media capital like New York helps keep us on the radar of the major media in a way that we couldn’t be if, for example, Dreamland in Tuscaloosa, AL was the capital of the barbecue world. 

   
And, I tell you something else. While we might argue about the quality of barbecue in New York (I’ll say it’s good and getting better by leaps and bounds) one thing it has head and shoulders above everywhere else. They actually cook their side dishes and use fresh ingredients while most folks in barbecue country are opening up cans.It’s always been funny to me to hear a guy go on for hours about how he uses only a certain kind of wood and how nobody but his oldest son knows his sauce recipe. What he won’t tell you is that Campbell’s Soup Co. and Sysco have the recipes for everything else he serves. Continue reading

BBQ in the News: March 2010

A few recent news items that are worth a mention but not a full post:

The Greensboro News & Record mentions the results of a survey ranking the Triad low on how its residents feel about their own well-being.  “Maybe it’s time to drown our sorrows in more barbecue,” offers the article.  Sage advice.

Maurice’s Gourmet Barbeque, the South Carolina restaurant chain known equally for its ‘cue and its owner’s racist views, has decided to remove the Confederate flag from outside most of its locations.  According to this article from WLTX 19, owner (and former gubernatorial candidate) Maurice Bessinger “says a bad economy has forced him to take down some of those flags” and that the flags cost too much to maintain.  An odd explanation to say the least.  Bessinger decided to place Confederate flags outside his restaurants roughly a decade ago when South Carolina lawmakers decided to remove the stars and bars from the capitol dome.

A University of Pittsburgh study concludes that the ancient people of Carthage did not barbecue their babies after all.

Porky’s Pulpit: Fighting Words

Ladies and gentleman, we have work to do.  How can we sleep at night when people are going around claiming this joke of a recipe is “North Carolina Style” barbecue sauce?  North Carolina has plenty of style and she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this sauce.  The recipe, which author Jill says makes her “wanna learn to rope a calf” (good, because it ain’t fit for pork), is as follows:

2 each 32-ounce cans Italian plum tomatoes, chopped with juices
½ cup unsulfured molasses
½ cup honey
¼ cup tomato paste
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped garlic
2 bay leaves
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
1 ½ teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes, or to taste
2 cups water
1 1/3 cups cider vinegar (or to taste)
Salt, to taste

Italian plum tomatoes?  Bay leaves?  Garlic?  What in the name of Bob Garner is this nonsense?  Is this the Chef Boyardee recipe for NC-style barbecue sauce?  Did Jill get hit on the head with a pork shoulder?  She obviously doesn’t know NC-style barbecue sauce from a jar of Ragu.  It’s time we North Carolinian defenders of the divine swine rise up and protect our beloved state’s good name from the attacks of Jill and her ilk.  In other words, this aggression will not stand, man.

Pork: The Viagra of Meat?

The beef-crazy people of Argentina, who on average consume more than their body weight in beef each year, are faced with a national shortage of the red meat.  Their fearless leader is encouraging them to try an alternative: pork.

The Independent reports that Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez is using sex to sell the other white meat.  According to the paper, “She has given a speech touting pork as a cheap alternative to Viagra – and suggesting that she had personal experience.”  They quote President Fernandez , during a speech announcing subsidies to the swine industry, saying: “‘I didn’t know that eating pork improved sexual activity, [but] it is much more gratifying to eat some grilled pork than to take Viagra.” 

If the above quote had been made by a U.S. politician, Pfizer, the parent company of Viagra, would have already filed a lawsuit for slander.  Of course, no U.S. politician would dare challenge the pharmaceutical industy so it’s a moot point.  At any rate, if Valentine’s Day was not enough to put the romance back into your life, then maybe you should learn from the good people of Argentina.

The world's most delicious aphrodisiac?

Happy Valentine’s Day

I have been saving this classic Canadian ad from the Saskatchewan Pork Council for just the right moment.  With Valentine’s Day coming up this weekend, now is that moment…

The obvious question is, “Do they have double entendres in Canada?”  I’ll let our legions of Canadian readers write in to answer that question.  At any rate, Eric, thanks for alerting me to this sign and allowing me to embargo it for months before sharing it.  It certainly captures the spirit of Valentine’s Day.