Porky’s Pulpit: Rapture is a Good Plate of Barbecue

I am writing this post on Friday night in case rapture comes on Saturday as predicted. If you are reading this post on Monday when I scheduled it to run then there are three possible explanations: 1. the rapture did not happen and the prophets of doom were wrong, or at least off by a week or two (stay tuned); 2. you are a sinner and were Left Behind, yet still have access to a high speed Internet connection (poached from a believer, perhaps?); 3. you have been saved and the Big Man Upstairs has rewarded you with your own iPhone (reception is good in the clouds even for AT&T users).

As for me, as a BBQ Jew I am not sure how the lord will regard me on judgment day, but if I make it through unscathed then I think I’ll celebrate with a chopped plate of ‘cue.¬† Well, as long as there are still some pitmasters left to cook for me, since I expect they will be saved from this earth before the rest of us.