Free Pork Runners-Up

Although only one lucky reader won the free Battle Box from the NC Barbecue Company, I was lucky enough to receive seven other entries, and figured I’d share a few of them with you here.  Proof positive that readers are the wittiest, most insightful readers of a Judea-centric barbecue blog anywhere:

A BBQ Haiku by Kevin “Bacon Oscar” Myers
Vinegar tang and sweet smoke
Yahweh would approve

John Shelton Reed Preaches to the Choir
Why do I like NC barbecue?  Because it carries with it all the weight of tradition, respects the meat, and makes me happy.  My favorite part of the website is your unerring critical judgment and sometimes snarky sense of humor (not a “part,” exactly, but an aspect, or two).

We used a black and white print of the attached photo [from Wilber’s in Goldsboro] in HOLY SMOKE, but it’s even better in color.


A BBQ Haiku by Nate “Tender Beef” O’Keefe
NC bar-b-que is tender
For the giver and the sender
If at random you reply
The battle box will be all mine

Gorging with the Gorges: A Note from Boone “Pork Daddy” Gorges and his Wife Rebecca “Pregnant Pork Belly” Gorges
My wife and I are dyed-in-the-wool Yankees, but we love NC barbecue and have done several cue-focused tours of your fine state. Our most recent trip was in June 2011. Despite being 7 months pregnant, my wife indulged me in the gluttonous splendor of 20 different barbecue joints (ok ok – two of them were in southern VA) in the course of seven days. The attached pic shows my very preggers wife in front of Honeymonk’s.

You can read more about our trip here and see my live porkphotoblog archive here .

[Note from Porky: If the winner had been picked for best entry rather than random draw, you surely would have fun.  It seems you’ve found yourself the perfect wife so treat her like a queen–a queen who feasts on barbecue.]

Porkless in Seattle No More

Ladies and gents, we have a winner in our free pork contest:  Edd “Cracklin'” McLaughlin of Seattle, Washington.  Although Edd’s name was drawn at random from among eight entrants, he also would have won for distance.  Seattle is a 2,842 mile drive from Greensboro, the home of the NC Barbecue Company, which is providing the prize Battle Box.  Another example of the wonders of the Internet–connecting North Carolina barbecue lovers from coast to coast.

As his contest entry, Edd wrote to say: “I’m stranded out here in the Seattle, Washington area with no access to authentic delicious tasting NC barbecue or the atmosphere of the places where it’s served.  I have a lot of respect for the intensity of its preparation and am always amazed by the subtle smokiness of the finished product, be it Eastern or Piedmont style.  The dips/sauces are other non-existent items out here. I always look forward to the once a year trip I make to NC and NC barbecue is right at the top of the list of reasons why I do.”

It sounds like you’ll truly appreciate this prize, Edd, so congrats on your win and happy eating.  I’ll share your contact info with Ryan Pitz of the NC Barbecue Company and he’ll be in touch to arrange the Battle Box delivery.

Thanks everyone for participating, and I’ll be posting some more of your submissions later this week.

Pork Bottle Politics

The Democrats have upped the ante when it comes to barbecue-pandering in the 2012 presidential election.  The organizers of the upcoming Democratic National Convention are making localregional and national headlines for their recently announced sauce contest.

Charlotte in 2012, the convention’s organizing body, released a Request for Proposals (RFP) seeking the best barbecue sauces among the styles most common in the Carolinas.  As the RFP states, the organizers are “looking to work with a Barbeque sauce vendor as part of the merchandising effort for the Convention.”  I will refrain from picking on the committee for the erroneously capitalized spelling of “Barbeque”, as this would be a cheap shot.

The RFP seeks entries among “three different types of BBQ sauces, mustard, vinegar, and tomato that represent the different styles from around the Carolinas.”  I will pick on the organizers for this statement, which has the following flaws:

  • Every North Carolinian worth his vinegar knows that there is no such thing as tomato-based sauce here, but rather dips that are spiked with a touch of tomato/ketchup;
  • mustard-based sauces are a South Carolina thing and we frown upon them here in the real, civilized Carolina;
  • South Carolina will vote for the GOP nominee come hell, highwater, or Strom Thurmond’s reincarnation as a friendly Palmetto tree, so why waste time tasting that state’s Grey Pou-ponsense?
  • Reasonable people of all political stripes should have a healthy dose of skepticism about a taste test conducted by political hacks.  My guess is the winner will be whichever sauce receives the support of White House Brand Vinegar’s Super PAC.

Finally, though the sauce contest seems innocent enough on the surface, the Democrats are treading on dangerous territory.  Their attempt at an ecumenical selection of winners across three different styles risks alienating us North Carolinians, as we are die hard Baptists when it comes to sticking with what we like.  We each have our sauce religion figured out and don’t need the sauce teachings we believe in questioned by out of town operatives, whether they be Mormon, Catholic or just plain not from ’round here.  Of course, in fairness, political common sense dictates that picking three sauces will anger fewer voters than picking just one.  Perhaps.

Last Chance at Free Pork

People, people, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  You have a chance to win a free box of barbecue delivered to your doorstep, yet only a few of you have entered.  Enter the contest by 5:00 p.m. EST on Friday.  The winner will be announced next week.  C’mon, folks, I’m counting on you.

President’s Day Words of Wisdom

Happy President’s Day!  (Now how come we don’t have a Congressmen Day holiday too?  It’d sure help the public approval ratings of that side of government.)  I sincerely hope you are lucky enough to have today off from work, so that you have sufficient time to shop the mattress sales that make our nation the greatest on earth.

If you thought that President George W. Bush was the most barbecue-friendly George ever to hold the highest office in the land–what with his Texas ranch and all–you’d be wrong.  Of course, that George W. was a member of the northeastern elite and came to embrace his down home Texas side fairly late in life.  The original George W., on the other hand, was a serious ‘cue hound.  That’s right, there are various accounts of barbecues hosted and attended by our first president, George Washington.  In fact, with all the pork Washington ate it’s a miracle his canoe didn’t sink while crossing the Potomac.

When Washington was a mere lad–before he turned 16 and at least a few months before he bought his first set of wooden teeth–he transcribed a short document called “Rules of Civility &  Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation.”  These rules contain many timeless bits of wisdom, such as:

  • “When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy  Discovered.” [Modern translation: don’t scratch your nuts in public.]
  • “Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.” [Modern translation: Uh, don’t shift your weight around or chew your nails?]
  • “Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you  See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexteriously upon it if it be upon  the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own  Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.” [Modern translation: If you still have this problem in the 21st century, good luck getting a date.]
  • “In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physicion if you be not  Knowing therein.” [Modern translation: Keep your prescription meds to yourself.]
  • And, notably for us at, “Put not another bit into your Mouth til the former be Swallowed let not your Morsels be too big for the Gowls.”  [Modern translation: Don’t choke to death while stuffing your face like a pig.]

There are many more words of wisdom from GW available in this document, so check it out by following this link.  Thanks to my colleague, Mr. “Outside” Brown, for making me aware of this terrific booklet.

Dickey’s Plague Spreading in Raleigh?

According to a clumsily written Valentine’s Day press release, Dickey’s Barbecue Pit is “coming soon to Raleigh.”  Of course, Dickey’s has had a downtown Raleigh location for some time now, so it’s unclear what this means.  The news release contains amazingly little information so it’s not at all clear if and where a new franchise is opening, but I am assuming Dickey’s will soon open in North Raleigh or lord knows where else.  Stay tuned… and brace yourself.

Have a Heart on Valentine’s Day

It’s not everyday that I have an excuse to post a photo like the one below.  But Valentine’s Day is as good a day as any–and better than most–to show a little heart.  Thanks to Chef-Owner-Budding Cardiac Photographer Sam Suchoff of The Pig in Chapel Hill for the photo.  Lord only knows what Sam was up to with these pig hearts when he took the photo, but I’ll bet the end result tasted good.


Free Pork by Mail

Thanks to the good folks at the NC BBQ Company, who are offering readers (that’d be you, nimrod) a chance to win some free pork.  In exchange for my blessing to include some past writings in their newsletter, the NC BBQ Company has offered a free Battle Box for a lucky reader.  But there is no such thing as a free lunch, so you have to earn it.

For a chance to win the Battle Box (retail value $55), you must write me at BBQJew at and do one of the following things: tell me why you like NC barbecue; tell me your most or least favorite part of this website; or send me an original (by yourself, wiseguy) BBQ-related photo, essay, poem, video or whatever else you can dream up.  I’ll randomly draw the winner from among all entrants.

Note: All entrants agree to allow me to post their submittals on this website.
Also, your odds of winning vary depending on whether or not my mom submits an entry.

2012 NC Barbecue Events

After a laziness-induced delay, I have completed my promised update of NC barbecue-related events for 2012.  Click on the Events tab of my website for the full calendar.  As always, let me know if I missed any events and I’ll be happy to add on to the listing.  Whether you are a cook/competitor, BBQ judge or just plain like smelling and eating hog, there are plenty of events from which to choose.  Enjoy yourself and happy barbetouring!

Ground/Chopped Hog Day

It looks like 6 more weeks of chopped pork in Lexington, even though Miss Charlotte did not see her dip-soaked shadow…