Porky’s Pulpit: Pignorance is Bliss

Posted on January 3, 2011 by Porky LeSwine

It’s a new year and the perfect time for a little bit of reflection on 2010.  Without a doubt, my favorite new dining experiences over the past year had one thing in common: I had to drive an extra mile (or 50) to seek out traditional, wood-cooked barbecue at places like Grady’s in Dudley, Wink’s in Salisbury and The Skylight Inn in Ayden.  Unfortunately, I also ate a lot of mediocre ‘cue, and almost all of it was made in electric or gas-fired cookers. 

There was a time when mediocre barbecue was good enough for me; I suppose that pignorance is bliss. But the more barbecue I eat the less tolerant I am for so-so swine. Unless it is doused with a terrific sauce and served with outstanding sides, in my experience electric/gas-cooked pork is rarely better than okay.  After a year of eating more than my share of forgettable barbecue, I am looking forward to focusing on eating at the traditional pit-cooked ‘cue joints as time allows, while passing over most of the faux ‘cue. Consider that my first BBQ Jew Year’s resolution. My other resolutions include:

-Finally write reviews of several restaurants that I dined at awhile back and still haven’t reviewed, in large part because I really don’t enjoy writing negatives things about someone’s livelihood.

-Continue to interview interesting folks for the BBQ&A section of this site, as that has been my favorite part of running this site for the past two years.  Look for a BBQ&A with NC barbecue legend Bob Garner, as well as others, soon. If you have any suggestions for BBQ&A interviewees, let me know.

-Convince some friends and strangers to contribute guest posts to mix things up. After all, it’s hard work reading your own words three times a week.

-Most of all, enjoy another year of rambling on about the incredible, edible world of North Carolina barbecue.

Best wishes for the year ahead,

Porky LeSwine

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a comment »

Porky’s Pulpit: Taking Social Netporking to the Next Level

Posted on December 6, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Perhaps it was inevitable. I have resisted the Land of Twitter for years because it seems an inherently shallow and useless place. But then it hit me like 140 characters worth of bricks: shallow and useless are essential descriptors of BBQJew.com.  With my excuses torn to shreds, I’ve decided to dive headfirst into the Twitter pool dip my hooves into the Twitter hog waste lagoon.  Follow me @BBQJew and I’ll do the usual quid pro quo and follow you too.  Of course, I don’t yet know exactly what any of what I just said really means, but who cares, it’s just Twitter.

Oh, and I should mention that I’ve yet to invite friends to follow me on Twitter so I have exactly zero followers as I write this post. I must say, it was a bit discouraging when I clicked on the Find People link on my Twitter profile and received this message: ” Sorry, we’ve temporarily run out of recommendations for you. We’re out there looking for more right now. Please check back soon!”  Run out of recommentations before making any at all? Jeez.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: | Leave a comment »

Porky’s Pulpit: Dickey’s Invasion Continues, Call the National Guard

Posted on December 3, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Below is a press release from that ever so dangerously un-North Carolina barbecue chain, Dickey’s. Read it and weep… and then rush out to support your favorite local BBQ joint (even if it happens to be a Smithfield’s!)

——–

Dickey’s Barbecue Trifecta Takes on North Carolina

The Barbecue Chain Will Hold Three Consecutive Grand Openings in December

Raleigh, NC, November 29, 2010 –(PR.com)– Three of Dickey’s Barbecue Pit’s newest locations in North Carolina will hold Grand Opening events three days in a row. The barbecues Trifecta include locations in Raleigh, Southern Pines, and Winston-Salem. The events will kick off each day at 11 a.m. where patrons can purchase $1 big barbecue sandwiches and also enter to win free barbecue for a year, according to officials.

The Raleigh location will hold their grand opening on December 1st. This Dickey’s is located at 170 East Davie Street. Continue reading →

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: An Affront to My Way of Life

Posted on October 15, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

If there were an award for the website that is most antithetical to BBQJew.com, this one might be the winner.  After all, what could be more in conflict with the values espoused by BBQJew.com than the Christian Vegetarian Association? 

According to their website, “The Christian Vegetarian Association (CVA) is an international, non-denominational ministry of believers dedicated to respectfully promoting healthy, Christ-centered and God-honoring living among Christians.”  Their mission is threefold:

  1. To support and encourage Christian vegetarians around the world.
  2. To share with non-vegetarian Christians how a vegetarian diet can be a powerful and faith-strengthening witness to Christ’s love, compassion, and peace.
  3. To show the world that plant-based diets represent good, responsible Christian stewardship for all God’s Creation.

Hmmm, these “Christians” sound more like devil worshippers to me.  Needless to say, BBQJew.com asks all of you real Christians, Jews, Muslims, and other true believers in monotheistic (or polytheistic, pagan or animistic, we’re not picky) religions who have faith in the power of pork to make a stand against the CVA.  We urge you to take to the streets and burn some tofu (Citrus Barbeque Tofu, if you want to hit them where it hurts) to protest the CVA’s evil mission.  But don’t stay out protesting too late at night, most good barbecue places close by 8 p.m. and we’d hate for you to miss dinner.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: I Am Your Sweet Tea Party Candidate

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Ladies and gentleman, I don’t need to tell you that we live in trying times.  (But I will.) The economy remains in shambles.  Millions of hard working Americans are unemployed and therefore the phrase “hard working Americans” sounds more than a little bit nostalgic.  Foreclosures continue at a rate that very nearly keeps pace with the number of Snooki-related news items.  And, needless to say (but I will) the level of political discourse in this country is at an all-time low (Snooki aside).  While most of you are content to vote (or not bother to) for a mainstream Republican or Democrat, and some of you are out on the streets agitating for whatever it is that Tea Party types agitate for (agitation?), I am doing something more impressive.  Yes, today I am proud to announce my candidacy for office under the Sweet Tea Party banner.

What is the Sweet Tea Party? I’m so glad you asked. It is more than a party, it’s a movement.  In fact, it is a large, grassroots movement that is by no means Continue reading →

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

A Shot Across the Bow: Dickey’s Moving Onto Sacred Land

Posted on August 20, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

The news out of Raleigh is not good, ladies and gentlemen.  Not since the days of British colonial rule has our state witnessed such a threat to our way of life.  According to the New Raleigh blog, mediocre Texas-based barbecue chain (my words, not their’s) Dickey’s Barbecue Pit will be opening up a store in the Progress Energy Building this fall. 

The Progress Energy Building just so happens to be directly across the street from a certain 70-plus year old local BBQ institution–Clyde Cooper’s.  Shouldn’t the North Carolina Utilities Commission, charged with overseeing companies like Progress Energy, regulate this affront on our state’s values?!  For all we know, Progress Energy is using power customers’ fees to subsidize Dickey’s rent in some sort of Halliburtonesque scheme.* 

Now, in my humble opinion, Clyde Cooper’s ranks squarely in the middle of the pack of NC barbecue joints, but I’m still willing to go to bat for them against the evil forces of mass produced corporate Texas ‘cue.  Let’s make a stand, draw a line in the sand/Davie Street asphalt, and send as many people to eat at Cooper’s during Dickey’s opening weeks as possible. And if you have a “Mess with Texas” t-shirt then this is as good a time as any to wear it.

*Note to Progress Energy’s legal staff: this allegation has no basis in the truth and is presumably patently false. However, the BBQ Jew Legal Department is fully prepared to defend my freedom of speech and dares you to find any court in NC that would take a stand against the state’s barbecue tradition in favor of Texas-sympathizers like yourselves.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: Shame on Food Lion

Posted on July 12, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Regional grocery store giant Food Lion is based in Salisbury, NC, one of the most important (if underappreciated) barbecue towns in North Carolina due to its role as perhaps the birthplace of so-called “Lexington-style” barbecue.  Thus, one might expect that the folks at Food Lion would understand how to properly use the word “barbecue.”  One would be wrong. 

Food Lion is currently offering a promotion called “Backyard BBQ with Keith Urban.”  Does this contest offer as a grand prize a Salisbury area pig pickin’ with the New Zealand-born pseudo-country star?  No, it does not.  Rather, by purchasing a bag of Kingsford Charcoal or a bottle of (ahem, cough cough) KC Masterpiece sauce, shoppers are entered into a contest to attend a “BBQ” (i.e., a cookout) in Nashville, TN with Mr. Urban.  According to Food Lion’s website, no purchase is necessary (except for the charcoal or sauce?) to win this “intimate VIP experience.”  

I am sure Keith Urban can throw a mean cookout, but no intimate VIP experiences for me, thank you very much.  I’ll stick to pork shoulders cooked over hickory coals and flavored with some Salisbury-made dip.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: Blueprint for a Barbecue Museum

Posted on June 23, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

The unmistakable smell of pork cooking low and slow over hickory coals hits you as you pull into the parking lot.  It’s certainly the first time you’ve salivated on the way to a museum.  But this is no ordinary museum and it’s okay to drool.  You are about to visit The Museum of North Carolina Barbecue.  You stride swiftly from your car toward the museum’s front door, growing more eager to see what’s inside with each step you take.  You pull the door open and… you wake up and realize it was a all a dream.  But it doesn’t have to be.

 A few weeks ago I wrote about the numerous museums in North Carolina, which celebrate everything from teapots to textiles.  Yet there is no barbecue museum in the state, and as far as I can tell there is no such museum anywhere. Not in Kansas City, not in Memphis, not in mutton-loving Owensboro and not even in that big ol’ overconfident state of Texas.  But why not in North Carolina?  After all, we have the nation’s longest continuous barbecue tradition and Continue reading →

Filed under: 'Cue Culture, Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: Barbecue Sauce and Mental Health

Posted on April 7, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

A slew of articles, including this one, have reported the results of a recent study out of Canada that shows certain barbecue sauces are rich in antioxidants.  Leaving aside Canadians’ questionable credentials when it comes to barbecue (moose jaw anyone?), as well as the considerable waste of taxpayer money (not mine in this case, thankfully) inherent in funding such useless research, the study does lead to an interesting question.  The question is not, “Isn’t it wonderful that barbecue sauce may have some health benefits?”, but rather, “Who cares if it does?” 

Who cares whether the sauce on an unabashedly not-that-healthy food has some health benefits?  Our culture has grown increasingly obsessed with whether foods–from flax seed to chocolate to beer to steak–contribute to our physical health.  This trend bothers me for a few reasons:

  • It distracts from the obvious fact that as a culture we eat too much and exercise too little.  Until we resolve those issues, everything else is fairly irrelevant.
  • It implies that the pure enjoyment of food is suspect, that there must be some practical benefit in every bite we eat.  This is antithetical to the enjoyment of food and, at the risk of being overly dramatic, to human nature.
  • It puts an emphasis on “health” over quality.  Are we supposed to eat lousy, lazy oven-cooked ribs with a mass produced, highly processed yet antioxidant-rich sauce and feel good about ourselves?  And should we feel bad about eating a wood-cooked, presumably carcinogen-tainted plate of chopped pork covered in homemade but low antioxidant sauce?  Nonsense.

Maybe I am overreacting, since that’s what I do when inhabiting my Porky LeSwine persona, but this sort of madness needs to stop.  Eat a balanced diet, run around the yard with your kids every chance you get, and by all means enjoy your BBQ sandwich.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Porky’s Pulpit: Were There BBQ Joints in Nazareth?

Posted on April 2, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Thank you to Jay and Katherine, a husband-and-wife team who sent me the below picture of a fascinating tapestry.  According to Katherine, “The tapestry hangs in the Gallery of Tapestries in the Vatican Museum and is a picture of the Last Supper.  I think it was woven in the 1600s.”  Why is this artwork of particular interest, other than the obvious fact that it is Holy Week?  Well, this particular depiction of the Last Supper appears to feature a serving platter full of pig! 

Since I’ve never before seen a pig-positive depiction of the Last Supper, I’m curious to hear from any religious scholars who can help answer these questions: Are those really pigs featured on the platter?  And, if so, is it at all possible that swine might have been on the menu at the Last Supper given the number of, you know, Jews present?  Also, what might the pigs’ symbolic meaning, if any, be in this tapestry? 

Given Jesus was a Jew, one would expect he kept kosher.  Then again Jesus, you may have heard, was no ordinary Jew.  According to that holiest of holy website WikiAnswers, which is a decidely unscholarly source of information, there is some debate about whether Jesus indulged in treyf food like swine.  The evidence that Jesus might have eaten pork largely comes from him saying, “It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man” (Matthew 15:11).  Whether this one passage can be interpreted to mean it is okay to eat pork and other “unclean” foods is not clear.  Anyone out there care to enlighten me? 

Last Supper tapestry, courtesy of Jay and Katherine Wilkerson

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

« Previous Page — Next Page »

  • Categories

  • Archives

  • December 2025
    M T W T F S S
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728
    293031