Run for Your Lives, The McRib is Back!

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Breaking news from the Fast Food Nation: The McRib returned to McDonald’s locations nationwide yesterday.  (And just in time for the election: Republicans make big gains and the McRib is reinstated, not sure what to make of that connection.)  Sure, the McRib has it’s defenders, such as one James Pkafke, who writes, “The McRib is like some kind of delicious, mythical being, akin to pure joy captured and stuffed into bread and boneless pork.” But, frankly, whoever this Pkafke guy is (a mythical being, perhaps?), I am quite confident that he is an idiot.  After all, he can’t even correctly spell his own last name–Pkafke, really?  C’mon!  The world needs the return of the McRib like it needs the reemergence of polio.  In my professional opinion, I recommend you vaccinate yourself with a plate of real barbecue from your favorite local joint.

Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Total (BBQ) Recall

Posted on October 22, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Bad news for those of you who like your barbecue with a side of salmonella: The Louisburg-based company The Murphy House has recalled over 4,900 pounds of barbecue due to possible salmonella contamination, so you’ll have to look elsewhere for your ‘cue and ‘nella fix. (Earlier this year the same company had to recall a bad batch of Brunswick stew.)

It’s a shame to see so much barbecue go to waste, but if barbecue is going to be thrown away I prefer it be the pre-packaged pork from the big plastic tubs than succulent swine from independent restaurants.  More details on the recall are available from WTVD news, including the interesting note that products from The Murphy House had been served at the North Carolina State Fair.  Here’s to hoping that any sickness related to the Fair is caused by pairing fried foods and roller coasters, not by salmonella…

Filed under: BBQ in the News | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

Porky’s Pulpit: An Affront to My Way of Life

Posted on October 15, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

If there were an award for the website that is most antithetical to BBQJew.com, this one might be the winner.  After all, what could be more in conflict with the values espoused by BBQJew.com than the Christian Vegetarian Association? 

According to their website, “The Christian Vegetarian Association (CVA) is an international, non-denominational ministry of believers dedicated to respectfully promoting healthy, Christ-centered and God-honoring living among Christians.”  Their mission is threefold:

  1. To support and encourage Christian vegetarians around the world.
  2. To share with non-vegetarian Christians how a vegetarian diet can be a powerful and faith-strengthening witness to Christ’s love, compassion, and peace.
  3. To show the world that plant-based diets represent good, responsible Christian stewardship for all God’s Creation.

Hmmm, these “Christians” sound more like devil worshippers to me.  Needless to say, BBQJew.com asks all of you real Christians, Jews, Muslims, and other true believers in monotheistic (or polytheistic, pagan or animistic, we’re not picky) religions who have faith in the power of pork to make a stand against the CVA.  We urge you to take to the streets and burn some tofu (Citrus Barbeque Tofu, if you want to hit them where it hurts) to protest the CVA’s evil mission.  But don’t stay out protesting too late at night, most good barbecue places close by 8 p.m. and we’d hate for you to miss dinner.

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: I Am Your Sweet Tea Party Candidate

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Ladies and gentleman, I don’t need to tell you that we live in trying times.  (But I will.) The economy remains in shambles.  Millions of hard working Americans are unemployed and therefore the phrase “hard working Americans” sounds more than a little bit nostalgic.  Foreclosures continue at a rate that very nearly keeps pace with the number of Snooki-related news items.  And, needless to say (but I will) the level of political discourse in this country is at an all-time low (Snooki aside).  While most of you are content to vote (or not bother to) for a mainstream Republican or Democrat, and some of you are out on the streets agitating for whatever it is that Tea Party types agitate for (agitation?), I am doing something more impressive.  Yes, today I am proud to announce my candidacy for office under the Sweet Tea Party banner.

What is the Sweet Tea Party? I’m so glad you asked. It is more than a party, it’s a movement.  In fact, it is a large, grassroots movement that is by no means Continue reading →

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

BBQ Jew’s View: Whole Foods BBQ Bar

Posted on May 12, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

81 South Elliott Road, Chapel Hill, NC
919.968.1983
Website
Hours: Sun-Sat 7:30 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.
BBQ Jew’s Grade: C-
Porky Says: “Whole Foods serves BBQ?!”

There’s a Whole Fool Born Every Minute
I hope you are seated as you read this next sentence.  Whole Foods serves its own, house-cooked barbecue.  And I actually worked up the nerve to try it. 

I know, I know, eating barbecue at Whole Foods seems about as wise as a barbecue joint offering tofu on its menu.  But I am an intrepid soul when it comes to barbecue and I’ll do nearly anything for the sake of a blog post.  Plus, Whole Foods is based in Austin, Texas, which even this Carolina boy admits is pretty serious barbecue country.


No Foolin’
It pains me to admit this, but the NC-style pork barbecue at Whole Foods was not bad.  Not real good and certainly not great but okay, adequate, passable, just fine, thank you.  I was expecting a gussied up dish that bore little resemblance to real NC BBQ but the pork was rough chopped to a nice consistency, moist despite being on a steam table, and served with a simple Eastern-style vinegar and spices sauce.  The pork even contained some outside brown meat, firmer and more flavorful than the rest.  Most importantly, the barbecue contained no unwanted additions: no chunks of organic kumquat fruit, no sauce made with locally-raised fig compote, and no free-range kale juice used as seasoning. 

Whole lotta pork.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are relatively few barbecue joints I’d pass up in favor of Whole Foods, but if you find yourself (as I did) needing a quick NC BBQ fix you could do worse.  (As an aside, I had the beef brisket too and it was awful.)  If you find yourself in that weak position, do what I do and recite the following prayer for strength:

“Yea, though I walk through the parking lot in the shadow of Whole Foods, I will fear no tofu: for thou art with me; thy pork and thy sauce they comfort me.  Thou preparest a Cafe table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my tongue with vinegar; my iced tea cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the church of ‘cue forever.”

Filed under: Restaurants & Reviews | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

The Barbecue Joint in Chapel Hill Kaput?

Posted on May 5, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

5/17/10 UPDATE: SEE COMMENTS SECTION!

A few alert readers have written in to let us know that The Barbecue Joint in Chapel Hill appears to have closed several weeks ago.  Since then we have been working hard–or at least hardly working–to confirm this rumor.  Sure enough, the doors to the restaurant are closed and there is a sign from the Sheriff’s department saying that anyone who enters the restaurant is trespassing, or something to that effect. 

Recently we heard from a highly placed source (given the Watergate-esque nature of this story we will refer to this source as “Hush Puppy” to protect his/her identity), who confirmed the joint’s closing.  Hush Puppy told us, “they’re flat out of business and the lock on the door is the landlord’s, for non-payment of rent.  Apparently they got over-extended… The scheme for raising money by offering $2,000 worth of future food for $1,000 now was made necessary by some major backers pulling the plug.” 

Bad news for The Barbecue Joint’s loyal fans, especially any who ponied up $1,000 or more to invest in the place when it announced plans to move to a larger location awhile back.   Allen & Son is now back to being Chapel Hill’s only NC barbecue joint.  As much as I love Allen’s, maybe this opens the door for a new barbecue joint in town?

Filed under: Restaurants & Reviews | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

Fire at Holt Lake Bar-B-Q

Posted on April 21, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

After several recent restaurant closings due to the economy, there is even more bad news for NC barbecue fans: according to WRAL.com, a kitchen fire has temporarily closed down Holt Lake Bar-B-Q & Seafood in Smithfield.  Although I was underwhelmed by Holt Lake Bar-B-Q on my visit there, the joint has many loyal customers who will be much less happy at meal time in the coming weeks.  The good news for the joint’s customers and 20 employees is that it sounds like the owners will work hard to re-open as soon as they can. 

I wish Holt Lake Bar-B-Q all the best for a speedy recovery.  And maybe they will take the fire as a sign from above and decide to rebuild with the addition of some traditional wood pits so they can keep the fire outside the restaurant!

Filed under: Restaurants & Reviews | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Sweet Farewell to Short Sugar’s #2

Posted on April 9, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

More bad news from the barbeconomy.  Just a few weeks after Lexington institution John Wayne’s Barbecue rode into the sunset, we learn that Short Sugar’s has closed their downtown Reidsville location.  Short Sugar’s has been in business since way back in 1949 on the outskirts of Reidsville and had operated a second, downtown location since ’58.  It’s always sad to see an old time BBQ restaurant close, and in this case doubly sad to lose a restaurant in the heart of a downtown.  The good news is that Short Sugar’s original Scales Street location is still going strong.

Filed under: Restaurants & Reviews | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: Were There BBQ Joints in Nazareth?

Posted on April 2, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Thank you to Jay and Katherine, a husband-and-wife team who sent me the below picture of a fascinating tapestry.  According to Katherine, “The tapestry hangs in the Gallery of Tapestries in the Vatican Museum and is a picture of the Last Supper.  I think it was woven in the 1600s.”  Why is this artwork of particular interest, other than the obvious fact that it is Holy Week?  Well, this particular depiction of the Last Supper appears to feature a serving platter full of pig! 

Since I’ve never before seen a pig-positive depiction of the Last Supper, I’m curious to hear from any religious scholars who can help answer these questions: Are those really pigs featured on the platter?  And, if so, is it at all possible that swine might have been on the menu at the Last Supper given the number of, you know, Jews present?  Also, what might the pigs’ symbolic meaning, if any, be in this tapestry? 

Given Jesus was a Jew, one would expect he kept kosher.  Then again Jesus, you may have heard, was no ordinary Jew.  According to that holiest of holy website WikiAnswers, which is a decidely unscholarly source of information, there is some debate about whether Jesus indulged in treyf food like swine.  The evidence that Jesus might have eaten pork largely comes from him saying, “It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man” (Matthew 15:11).  Whether this one passage can be interpreted to mean it is okay to eat pork and other “unclean” foods is not clear.  Anyone out there care to enlighten me? 

Last Supper tapestry, courtesy of Jay and Katherine Wilkerson

Filed under: Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Porky’s Pulpit: Fighting Words

Posted on February 26, 2010 by Porky LeSwine

Ladies and gentleman, we have work to do.  How can we sleep at night when people are going around claiming this joke of a recipe is “North Carolina Style” barbecue sauce?  North Carolina has plenty of style and she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this sauce.  The recipe, which author Jill says makes her “wanna learn to rope a calf” (good, because it ain’t fit for pork), is as follows:

2 each 32-ounce cans Italian plum tomatoes, chopped with juices
½ cup unsulfured molasses
½ cup honey
¼ cup tomato paste
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped garlic
2 bay leaves
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
1 ½ teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes, or to taste
2 cups water
1 1/3 cups cider vinegar (or to taste)
Salt, to taste

Italian plum tomatoes?  Bay leaves?  Garlic?  What in the name of Bob Garner is this nonsense?  Is this the Chef Boyardee recipe for NC-style barbecue sauce?  Did Jill get hit on the head with a pork shoulder?  She obviously doesn’t know NC-style barbecue sauce from a jar of Ragu.  It’s time we North Carolinian defenders of the divine swine rise up and protect our beloved state’s good name from the attacks of Jill and her ilk.  In other words, this aggression will not stand, man.

Filed under: Cooking, Porky's Pulpit | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

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